Just kidding, I'm not that bad, but when my husband sees my tongue sticking out to one side and my brows curled, he will first chuckle and then stare at me. It's usually the feeling of someone watching me that pulls me out of my "zone", to look up and see Ed smirking. He blows me a kiss and says something like, "It must be good." This is one of my many idiosyncrasies that Ed recognizes, accepts, and lovingly teases me about.
I used to grumble, or mutter, when this loving tease came my way but over the years I've learned this is only one example of how much Ed and I know and respect each other's little nuances. Anyway, back to the purpose of this blog. Do you want to know what deep thoughts have my brain so occupied I don't realize my tongue is sticking out, accompanied with a wrinkled brow? I thought so, read on.
Well, this past week I started writing the sequel to this book. The greatest discussion now, "Is this a sequel or the second in a series of three or four?" Actually, it's not really a conversation because I'm just writing and trusting where God is leading. At this point, it's the sequel, yet depending on how the weaving of a couple different aspects I want to share with my readers goes ~ might be more than one book.
I could make the book thicker, but if you're like me, you might never read the book. What good is it to share more details of how Heidi's kidnapping affected my life and the challenges I faced over the years, if no one reads the book. As I've done book signings and spoke, I've made mental and written notes on common questions or "I wanted more of..." statements. These will be included in this next book. I'm excited and look forward to the direction God is leading me.
At the same time, I've cried more this week than I have since Where's Heidi? One Sister's Journey released. I feel closer, yet the farthest away from Heidi's memory that I can. I think of times we had together and the ones we never experienced. I think of some of the stories I've heard in the past year or two, your stories, and how God is using my writing and speaking to touch and change your lives.
My emotions are running on the roller coaster again, thankfully I'm keeping them in check most of the time. This morning's flood of tears almost smothered me and kept me home for the day BUT, and but is the key word...I wiped away the tears, put on my big girl panties (figure of speech, lol), thanked God for His love and comfort, and started my day. There was a time I would have crawled back into bed, I'm so thankful I didn't.
Do I regret starting the journey to write the sequel? No.
Do I wish I could write without the emotional drain and mental exhaustion? No.
Am I encouraged to write for God, to share Heidi, hope, and healing with others? Yes.
Will I give up? No.
Is it worth it? I pray it is.
If you think of it over the next weeks and months, will you lift my writing, speaking, and this journey to God in prayer? For His guidance, wisdom, provision, protection, and love to shine through all I think, say, write, and share. Thank you!