Yes, there are moments when the weakness within me clouds my thought processes and makes me ask "Why God? Why?" but I've learned, this gets me NO WHERE!
"Better one handful with tranquillity
than two handfuls with toil
and chasing after the wind."
God never left me, I left Him. I was surrounded by family and friends every step of the way. These same people, along with our community, prayed, and continue to pray for Heidi and our family. It was my perception that I was alone. Yet at the time, it felt like each time I wiped the water from my eyes after a wave knocked me down -- another wave hit me.
I'm thankful God never left me. I'm thankful for the people God used to share His love, hope, healing, peace, strength, grace, mercy, and truth with me. If no one has told you lately, let me share something with you.
You matter and God loves you.
You are special and can overcome whatever obstacle, toil, trouble or wave you are facing today when you trust God and rest in his tranquillity, not the world's chasing.
You are not the first one to experience whatever trouble is beating you down.
You are not alone.
You have HOPE!
Instead of standing on the rock, fighting against the waves and wind to stand on your own -- lift your hands, release the hurt, anger, and fear to God. Grab a hold of the ladder He sends to you and start to climb up and out. You might slip on a rung or two while you are climbing out but with your eyes fixed on Him...you will not fall!
God loves you and is waiting for you to call to Him. Don't give up, He already overcame the world -- trust Him and you will have true tranquillity.
"Glory in his holy name;
let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice.
Look to the Lord and his strength;
seek his face always.
“I have told you these things,
so that in me you may have peace.
In this world you will have trouble.
But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
Psalm 105:3-4, John 16:33