Heidi M. Allen ~ Missing Since 4/3/94 ~ Age Progression Photo
In case Heidi is one of God’s miracles waiting to happen, this letter is written from one sister to another. If Heidi is alive and able to find this blog ~ may she know I haven’t given up hope. Instead, we've just accepted a new reality. This might not make sense to some, yet the waiting family understands. Today's letter is specifically for Heidi but I'm sure other siblings searching and waiting for their brother or sister to come home will relate on a similar level. May all our missing children and adults be found.
Where do I start? If you were raising a family and working on the other side of the country I know the first thing I would say and in truth, it is the same thing I could say today. Heidi, I miss you, you are too far away. As children, and even as teens, we dreamed of what we would do and be like when we were "grown ups". I don't remember a single plan including your kidnapping as part of our future. My sweet sister, if you are alive and out there, you MUST know how much we all love and miss you. Keep fighting and waiting. You are covered in prayer, hope, and love as we wait for your return. I know we will see each other again.
Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness
We were blessed with a wonderful and memorable childhood. Do you remember how crazy we would get at all the pictures taken? Oh my gosh, these pictures are now treasured memories. We had a lot of fun, didn't we? From playing in apple orchard, riding our bicycles, or even the times you visited me at college. I'm blessed to have so many happy and joyful memories from our childhood. I pray you would have the same. Sometimes Mom, Mags, and I will go through the old photos for an upcoming blog.
Photographs are memory triggers. You'll hear us saying, "Oh, I forgot about that." with laughter and sharing throughout. Mags said, "I think I would like Aunt Heidi." I assured her, she would. I also expressed how spoiled and loved she would be. Do you remember spending our Thursday's together for sister day? A treasured day to me. The first time I spoke to share my story was on a Thursday evening. Isn't that cool? I thought so. Only God could have orchestrated the timing of this event.
What about God Heidi? No, not "What about Bob?", although that is a great movie. If you are out there somewhere ~ do you know how much God loves you? I pray you do. I work as a teacher's assistant now for the Mexico Schools. Can you believe it? Stop laughing. I know I said "I'm never going to teach." We should never say never, Dad was right. I'm even in the same building that Mom retired from and had the joy to start in the same room she retired from with Ms. Cole. How cool is that?
I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits,
I enjoy my job and working with the kids and to call my self teacher but then pastor challenged the definition of "teacher" this past Sunday. He said a teacher is just putting out information whereas a "trainer" presents the information and then assist the learner to apply this to life and put it into action. So I'm going to call myself a teacher's trainer for now on, lol. I hope I taught and trained you as we grew up.
Who knew that while you were in the middle school and I nicknamed you Midget that by the time you went to the prom, I became the midget. The irony in life. I'm so thankful for the eighteen years we had together. The greatest blessing is that the majority of our sisterhood was positive, with only great memories to carry me through. Of course we had our moments, but my gosh, we are females who shared a room, clothes, and a bathroom. There has to be tense moments, just two sisters sharing a bathroom is enough to cause strife. LOL (By the way, this is the new slang for "Laughing Out Loud") I'm just thankful the bathroom's mirror is the full length of the wall with double plugs.
It was a joy and honor to be your big sister. Your smile was contagious and your love of life, inspiring. The day Aunt Nancy called to say "Heidi is missing." I thought it was a bad dream or a misunderstanding because things like this don't happen in New Haven, New York. My gosh, people drive through the town on a daily basis without realizing we are a town of our own. You will never be forgotten my sweet Heidi.
The community built a remembrance garden in front of the gas station so you will never be forgotten. It's shaped like a star to light your way home again. So many people pray for you on a daily basis, I'm one of them. You'd love that niece of yours, she has your spit-fire attitude combined with my temperament. Watch out world, this girl has heart, drive, and an honest tude as fuel. I know that made you laugh.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
There are days I miss you SO MUCH Heidi. I'm thankful for so much and couldn't possibly list each thing if I tried. I'm thankful you were in my wedding and saddened I wasn't in yours. I watched Suz get married and cried through most of the ceremony, the entire way home, and then cried myself to sleep. Not because of who she married either because he is super sweet and you would adore him. He is good to Suz.
Her wedding is a blessing to me in so many ways. Weddings, regardless of whose they are, trigger many emotions. The majority is always joy and excitement for the new couple and then there is that part of my heart grieving something you were robbed of. I don't cry like I did at Suz' wedding but there is always tears of loss, hope, and love for you my sweet sister. You will never be forgotten.
Last week three women were recovered alive after years of captivity. My hope and prayer is that God has His loving arms wrapped around you and that you can feel them. I pray you know Jesus died on the cross for you and your sins and then rose again three days later and sits in Heaven, waiting. We wait here on earth in hopes to see you again and know why this happened and where you are. God waits to welcome us all home. I don't know how to pray most days, so I pray for the Holy Spirit to intercede. Once you are found, the next part of this journey begins.
Heidi, know you are loved and never forgotten. We will NEVER give up hope. I look forward to the day we meet again and I pray it is the hug of a lifetime ~ whether it be here or in heaven, it will be a hug worth waiting for. I love you Midget!
And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness.
Today's YouTube video is a favorite song from my childhood. A song Heidi and I enjoyed each time we heard it and would sing it to each other, and yes, we preferred the "The American Tail" version the best. Heidi, all around you ~ there are people praying for you, your recovery/discovery, and for our entire family. In God's time...
Never lose hope...
Wait patiently for the Lord.
Do you an encouraging word to share today?
Lisa M Buske
P.O. Box 323