Hello everyone!  A lesson just learned - I had my entire blog typed and instead of hitting the "publish" live tab I clicked to a new page and lost the entire post. :(  I need to remember to save a draft in the future...lol

As you know I've been listing the revisions for chapter 8 as my writing goal for today and tomorrow with not much getting done.  I could list excuses for not getting my writing done:  working full-time, wife, mother, daughter, Oswego Reading Council duties, church obligations, this-that-and the next thing but the truth be known...I haven't been working on chapter 8 revisions because I had questions without answers.

The kicker is I knew where to go for the answers but let fear get the best of me.  Well, not necessarily fear but respect.  As I work through those first hours and days I have many gaps and loss of memory yet I want to write the best book possible and know that if I can remember some of those items, it will enhance my story.  Out of respect for my parents and not wanting to upset them I kept waiting for the "right time" to ask them and this never seemed to happen.  So this afternoon I decided I was going to ask them.

I started in my typical discreet and causal way "Can I interview you tonight?"  They both looked at me with Dad asking, "For what?"  I explained it was for the book and I was trying to remember the details and to remember them correctly.  I also apologized if it was upsetting.  Instead of upset, I found them eager, willing and excited to help me work on my book.  I've spent two weeks worried about upsetting them and letting fear get the best of me when my parents were more than open to answering my questions and going back to that day with me.  Thank you Mom and Dad!

Before leaving they both told me to ask questions when I had them.  If it was the middle of the night and I had a question - email them.  If I thought of it during the day - call them.  They want to help me and expressed how proud they are and they'll do whatever I need to help me achieve this. 

The Oswego Reading Council's annual writing contest this year was "The person I admire the most is..."  If I would have entered it would read "The people I admire the most are my parents for their willingness to look back and remember out of love and support for my and
Yesterday's Writing Accomplishment:    organized and researched

Today's Writing Goal:  interview my parents for chapter 8 and HW for class  

Tomorrow's Writing Goal:  Revise, revise, revise! 

I had big plans when I went to bed last night - to pick up the house, vacuum, mop, dishes and laundry before heading to school this morning.  Well...after turning my alarm off and my daughter doing the same thing with my husband leaving two hours early for work - let's just say I awoke with a start thankfully before my daughter's bus arrived.  (Thank you to my sister-in-law for calling! LOL)  We both managed to clean up, pack lunches and have our shoes on before the bus came. 

After my daughter was on the bus - I did a breeze through to pick up, set the vac. in the middle of the living room floor with the mop bucket next to it and off to school I went.  My wonderful husband was home two hours early so he had the house clean when I walked in the door!  WooHoo!  I had time to chill - we had dinner and I enjoyed a game of "Guess Who?" with my daughter as we shared about our day.

This evening I went to the school Board of Education meeting to support one of my fellow teachers and friend as she was recognized as our MACS person for January 2011.  It was exciting and she is an amazing woman, teacher and friend.  As the board recognitions continued our superintendent asked if "Lisa Buske" was here - I raised my hand.  I was humbled, teary-eyed and ever so touched as the vice president (and dear friend to my dearly departed aunt) shared the "Today's CNY Woman" March 2011 issue and recognized my book writing to help other siblings and families affected by a kidnapping - sharing "Lisa Buske, aka, Heidi's sister".  Thank you MACS BOE!  I'm humbled and touched more than you could know while embarassed at the same time. 

As I left the meeting I had someone mention "...it's time for others to know..."  to know I am a writer...to know I'm writing about my experiences of being Heidi Allen's sibling...to know I want to help others and share my faith.   God is opening doors I would have never thought to open ~ I need to be obedient and finish the writing. 

I continue to pray for the publisher God has for me...for those who will read my book and for my sister!  April 3rd will represent 17 years without her.

Lisa :)

Yesterday's Writing Accomplishment:    Ready for the Oswego Reading Council's Writing Contest judging - some revision -much sleep

Today's Writing Goal:  organize thoughts for the revision I'm working on - need to do some more research
 
Tomorrow's Writing Goal:  Revise, revise, revise!  Homework for my Monday night writing workshop - my thought is this "You get out of a class what you put in."  I'm hoping to learn a ton and improve my writing.

This past week, one of my daughter's gerbils died last.  It was sad yet a life lesson for her.  She was heart broken as she walked into her room and found her gerbil barely alive.  I reminded her of the gerbil's life expectency is only three to five years and her gerbils were over three years old.  It was her response that caused me to pause and reflect - "I know that Mom but it was the manner in which he died.  He was killed by the other gerbil." 

Ecclesiastes 3:19 -20
Man's fate is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both.  As one dies, so dies the other.  All have the same breath; man has no advantage over the animal.  Everything is meaningless. All go to the same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return."

I looked at her and held her as she cried even more.  As I held her and comforted her broken heart I prayed.  I prayed for God to ease her pain and help her through this grief.  She was able to recognize the nature of the gerbil - the stronger one eliminating the weak and dying gerbil yet the manner in which the death occurred caused her much stress.  As I listened to her and we prayed I realized how much my daughter had grown up.  It was as if she was able to accept the death of her pet yet she couldn't accept the manner in which he met his death. 

I found myself praying not only for her but for myself and anyone else that has loss a loved one in a tragic way.  Her statement was a reflection of her growth and at a deeper level - she expressed the anger and frustration associated with the loss of a loved one when not associated with old age.  I've lost family members who gracefully closed their eyes to sleep, with a smile on their face as they remembered their 70 and 80 plus years of a good life.  I've also learned of a loved one's death by picking up the receiver of the phone to hear "Your sister is missing!",  "Your cousin was in motorcycle accident...", and "Uncle B was killed in an automobile accident". 

Death is never an easy or comfortable situation yet when we know our loved ones leave us in a loving and graceful way it seems to be easier to let them go.  I learned a valuable lesson as I consoled my daughter - the deaths I've struggled with and am affected by the most have been the unexpected.  Yet this is the same reason we are called to share Jesus with our friends, family and neighbors - we don't know what tomorrow brings or what one minute from now will hold. 

John 3:16 tells us that God so loved the world, He sent His One and Only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 

As I work on my revisions and finishing my first book - I pray for those who read it.  I pray they will see the Truth and Hope only found in Jesus and recognize they don't need to spend their time on earth fearing death or mourning those that have passed before them.  Instead there is strength and hope with Jesus empowering our days...

Although the gerbil passed away...a lesson was learned.
Lisa :)

Okay the photo is from last May but I couldn't find a photo in my file to match my mood this morning.  Yesterday was a fun and busy day.  The middle jazz band played in Albany, NY yesterday and I was blessed with the opportunity to accompany them as a chaperone.  The kids played well, behaved well and were all smiling as they excited the bus around 6 p.m. last night as it unloaded.  I was thankful for the opportunity to join them for this exciting opportunity - a great day.

As we drove in to town I had a headache starting - by 8:30 it was a full-blown migraine.  I retreated to the darkness and silence of my bedroom until the alarm went off this morning.  My headache started as soon as turned to shut the alarm.  Argh..the day was starting where it ended.  I took something for my headache and started the day's agenda.  We had our hair done and were beautiful for our adventure of purchasing new gerbils.  This was truly an adventure as we drove to Oswego to the new pet store to find it closed (even though the sign said it should be open)! 

Well two stores later and an hour of travel time - we found two male gerbils.  We stopped at the mall so Grandma could treat us for lunch and then back home.  Thanks Mom!  And during this my migraine was slowly returning, every pokey and bad driver was placed in front of us and my frustrated, moody migraining self was getting uglier.  Thank goodness my mom and daughter love me. 

Maybe if I would have set my alarm earlier and spent some time having coffee with Jesus instead of coffee on the run - the day wouldn't haven't got the best of me.  Proof that a day started with God may not run much smooter but it will be easier to get through.  :)  Off for some time of study and devotion!!

Lisa

P.S.  Some of the crankiness could have been from not being able to write last night (due to the migraine) and not being able to write today because of the additional time spent finding gerbals.  On a happier note - when I saw my daughter's eyes light up and her peppy disposition bouncing as she selected her two new gerbisl - I was ashamed for being so miserable and cranky about not writing.  Hmm...apologies were made.

In the past week I have shared different places, things and people that inspire me to write.  In this last post for my "Inspiration to Write" series I want to highlight the last three people that inspire me to write.  I've saved them for our final topic because they are the ones that motivate me, encourage me, love me and provide the energy and push needed to keep writing.

Two people that inspire me to write are my parents, Ken and Sue Allen.  The parents of Heidi Allen who has been missing 16 years, with the 17th anniversary of her disappearance one month from today.  My parents inspire me each and every day - as they wake up and start the day with a smile on their face and hope to find Heidi.  My parents inspire me because they set aside their own needs or desires for the sake of my and my family.  My parents inspire me each day because they are able to live their life after losing their youngest daughter in such a tragic way.  They inspire me because they hope and trust there will be closure as it pertains to knowing where Heidi is. 

Each day my parents wake up and place their feet on the floor not knowing where their youngest child is yet they choose to get up and "do".  They have decided not to let the evil and bad of the world consume them.  My parents inspire me as they have the strength and heart to find a reason to get up every morning - with hope...today will be the day Heidi is found!  I love you Mom and Dad!

The final and foremost person that inspires me is God!  He sent His One and Only Son to be born a baby, to suffer, die and be buried - knowing He would rise again three days later for my sins.  For your sins.  I write because He has blessed me with amazing parents and hope...God has never left my side in this journey of not knowing...I left Him.  Thankfully I recognized the many blessings and God-stops in the past sixteen plus years - with the support of God, my parents, my family, the community and all of you...God will be glorified!  Thank you for reading! 

I am doing a presentation tomorrow about writing in the classroom.  Read tomorrow's blog to learn how it went.

Thanks for following my blog.
Lisa :)

Can you believe it is March 1st already?  Wow...the time flies when you are having fun.  The inspiration to write I will share today is the countless number of families, volunteers, riders, sponsors and administration responsible for making NCMEC a success.  The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children helps families and children affected by kidnapping across the country, and beyond. 

Each year there are five rides in New York State to raise "posters" to help keep our children safe and bring our missing children home.  The motto is "Keeping our children safer...One child at a time!"  NCMEC and those associated with it...inspire me to write, to heal, to live and to share!  Thank you all!

Inpiration to Write
1.  YOU - my encouragers, supporters and prayer partners
2.  My Community - orange ribbons of remembrance
3.  Missing Person's Flyers  - fading in the window, nearly 17 years later
4.  Governmental Support
5.  My daughter and her encouragement
6.  National Center for Missing and Exploited Children
7.  More tomorrow...

Yesterday's Writing Accomplishment:    Received one of my critiques of chapter 7 back - made corrections and edited.  Stopped at the PO to mail a few things out to some of those inspiring me with my writing

Today's Writing Goal:  Continue with chapter 8 revisions 

Tomorrow's Writing Goal:  Chapter 8 revisions - hope to have it done by Friday.