Psalm 37:5 – 7a
“Commit your way to the LORD;
Trust in him and he will do this.
He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,
The justice of your cause like the noonday sun.
Be still before the LORD and wait paitently for him…”

Yesterday marked the 17th anniversary of Heidi’s disappearance.  I was blessed with an array of blessings from God, reminding me of His love and provision for me.  I received phone calls, voice mails, emails, blog postings, Face Book postings and messages, hugs, and a beautiful flower (above) from my beloved church family in Heidi’s honor.  The Ride for Missing Children has 180 riders that took time out of their Sunday to dedicate their training ride to Heidi and the family.  This was the best couple weeks leading up to the anniversary date I think I’ve ever had ~ with God’s strength…wow!  I made it! 

I’ve teased you over the past two weeks about a revelation I had while putting together this blog series and I’ve waited until today to reveal it.  Heidi was 18 years old, yesterday represents the 17th anniversary of her disappearance which means that today, Monday, April 4th, 2011 marks the start of the 18th year for her to be missing.  (I’ll pause for a minute so this concept can resignate in your head…)  Maybe some of you realized this long before I did yet it was new to me.  As I mentioned the year in a couple of the blogs it hit me like a ton of bricks – we are starting a journey I never anticipated.  Heidi will be missing for nearly as long as she was alive!

I remember sitting in Albany for New York State Missing Person’s Day (the 10th anniversary gathering is this Saturday, 4/9) one year when a woman shared her loved one had been missing for over twenty-five years.  I started to cry and talk with God…”I’m not strong enough for this Lord…25 years is a long time.”  As I felt His arms wrap around me and whisper in my ear, “You’re not alone Lisa, I’m right here and always have been.”  I can’t do it on my own but if it is God’s will, then I will rest in His arms and strength to persevere until Heidi is found.

My gram has another saying…”So goes Monday…so goes the week!”  I’m praying for a wonderful day today, for you and for me.  I submitted my book proposal for the first time this past Friday to an agent.  As I hit the send button my stomach started to churn – “This is real, thank you Jesus”  and then Saturday evening as I reviewed my proposal one last time I noticed a huge mistake. UGH!  After a prayer to calm myself I emailed a friend for advice –she is a wise woman and was able to both calm me down and provide great insight and direction.  (Thank YOU!) 

So this afternoon, after returning from urgent care with my mother and before leaving for AWANA I drafted a letter to the agent with the intent of sending it to my friend to preview before I sent it, so I didn’t sound like a ding-a-ling.  Well…between the anniversary date, mom at urgent care and preparing to head out – instead of sending it to my friend, I sent it to the agent! Double Ugh…I just laid my head down and cried…I cried for Heidi.  I cried for my mom.  I cried for making foolish mistakes.  I cried two weeks worth of tears.

Instead of shining for Jesus with the best I could do…I felt like a failure.  There was nothing I could do but apologize and seek forgiveness.  I want my writing to reflect Jesus and for others to see Him in all I do yet it didn’t happen that way this weekend.  I apologized to the agent, thanked my friend, cried some more and shut the computer off.  With the help of some sisters in christ I realized, it was the “I” that was the issue.  I needed to give it to Jesus since it has been Him and His strength every step of the way – so on my knees in thanksgiving for being an understanding, loving and forgiving God…I prayed.  God is good all the time…and all the time…God is good!

In reflection – although the day wasn’t as I planned, it was a good day.  I spent the entire day with my parents.  Generally April 3rd is spent in isolation – all healing and dealing in our own way, this year…God had us together for the majority of the day.  A hidden blessing during this storm…in the midst of this trials we need to see the positive.  I’m thankful for a day with my Mom, shopping after church would have been fun yet to know Mom trust me enough to call when she needs something…I’m blessed beyond words.

Today is the start of the 18th year of Heidi’s disappearance, the start of another week writing for God and learning from my mistakes and moving forward.  Today is Monday, “So goes Monday, so goes the week!”  I say we make the best of it…it is and always has been, in God’s hands, not mine. 

Happy April Fool’s day 2011!  I don’t know about you and your family but this used to be a major holiday in ours.  Today’s photo memory isn’t from an April Fool yet we look very foolish.  Halloween and trick-or-treating…great memories.  I remember teasing Heidi because she made her hair look like that for Halloween and I was wearing mine like that to school, lol…love the 80’s hair.

Did you notice my bag?  I didn’t the first time because I was laughing so hard at our costumes and the pillows stuck in my costume.  My bag is made of the plastic rings that a 6-pack of soda used to come on.  Very creative…I was recycling and reusing before it was a state mandate.  Go Lisa! Heidi and I had fun together…as I tried to think of one April Fool’s trick that stands out I couldn’t but I did think of an event that brought me to the floor laughing.  I nearly wet myself.

If you have a sister and only one shower you might be able to relate.  Depending on when you got out of bed and moving, determined when you would take a shower.  Dad was always first, he had to work after all and we were only going to school.  I was always up before sleeping beauty yet I needed time to ease in to the day (this is still true for me!)  and one day I had my clothes laid out and started to walk towards the bathroom when I heard the water turn on.  “What are you doing?  I’m next.”  She laughed and said, “You snooze, you lose.”  Grr…my own words coming back to bite me.  She took long and hot showers which meant I would either be showering in subzero water temps or wearing a lot of perfume. 

Instead of getting mad, I got even.  I went downstairs, retreived a new rold of masking tape and made the victorious climb up the stairs.  Once at the top I  started taping across the door frame.  First horizontal, then vertical and then diaganal in both directions.  It was a thing of beauty.  As I started the last row I couldn’t contain myself and was laughing so hard tears came down my eyes.  Heidi yelled, “What are you doing?”  to which I said, “Nothing, you just keep using all my hot water.”  She said “Okay!”  Grr…well I will win this battle.

I got off the floor and marched into my bedroom, grabbed my camera , returned to the hall and placed my bottom on the floor with my back against the railing and waited for her to open the door.  The water shut off and we started chit chatting while she dried off and prepared to walk swiftly out the bathroom door.  Ha ha!

She opened the door, went to take one step and almost stuck herself like a fly in a spider’s web to the door of tape.  I snapped pictures and then she posed for a couple so they would be perfect.  Oh my goodness.  We each had these in our album and no I’m not posting it out of respect to her.  It may not have been an April Fool’s joke yet it made us laugh EVERY time we thought of it.

Ecclesiastes 3:4 (NLT)
A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance


Do you have a funny memory of Heidi you want to share today? 

One to make us laugh, cry, grieve or dance?  I hope you will share.

In honor of April Fool’s day and Heidi’s love of life…let us laugh!