Are You Stronger or Different Today than Yesterday?

Friends, strangers, colleagues, and others ask, "How are you? Really?" Initially I simply said, "Okay, thanks for asking." And then as I thought more about how to answer this difficult question, God tapped me on the shoulder as if to say, "Don't you notice the difference?" It was in the quiet of prayer I realized what God was trying to get me to see.

You see, in 1994, my parents with the help of my aunts and uncles stood in front of the cameras, fielded the phone calls, and shared comments with the press. One of the misunderstandings I shared in Where's Heidi? One Sister's Journey was in regards to our family's response to the media.

I viewed my parent's concern and protection as isolation. It wasn't until my Mom read the first draft of Where's Heidi? that this miscommunication was cleared up. This summer when Heidi's case was brought to the forefront with a vicious, determined, and spearheaded motion of events, the open wounds were salted.

We weren't the only ones affected by the near daily news coverage and "breaking news" during the majority of the summer. I "lost" my only sister. My parents "lost" their youngest daughter. Our entire family, community, and friends "lost" Heidi. Over twenty years ago, I didn't know how to handle the stress, so thankfully my parents did protect me. 

As they protected me, I ran from God because I blamed Him for Heidi's kidnapping. This is of course false yet it was easier (or so I thought) to run away then lean on God. How foolish of me. 

This past July, instead of running away...I put all my weight, worries, stress, and anxiety in God's hands and leaned on Him. God reminded me of this. 

In 1994, I couldn't of handled standing in front of all the cameras to share words of thanksgiving and encouragement from our family with all of you. In 1994, I blamed God but this year I thanked Him as I felt His arms wrap around me, my parents, my entire family, our community, and our friends. God was there for us in the midst. 

This summer, my parents and I put together a statement to share with the media that was diligently following up with us throughout the searches. It was difficult to put into words how we felt yet we wanted you and those following the news to know how much we appreciated their support, encouragement, and prayers. My parents couldn't do this, so I did. I didn't do it alone though...Auntie M drove and God help me up and gave me the strength. 

What has changed? What realization did God share with me?
I'm stronger because of this tragedy and each lesson learned along the way. This summer when my parents weren't strong enough to talk with reporters and make statements, I was able to do this for them...for Heidi...for all of you who continue to encourage and pray for Heidi and our family.

One important thing that helps me, my family, Heidi's friends, and our community continue to move forward and focus on prayer and hope is this...Heidi is still missing!!

Regardless of what "break" you might read about in the case or story you see on the news, Heidi's family, friends, and community still close their eyes at night asking...Where's Heidi? and if tomorrow will be the day the answer is revealed.

We will NEVER give up Hope for Heidi M Allen to be found. Thank you for joining us in prayer, for your encouragement, and keeping the focus on the missing girl...Heidi Allen.

Thank you for remembering Heidi and joining us in prayer for her return.
Have you suffered a tragic loss in your life?

If so, looking back, how are you stronger or different 
today than you were the day life changed forever?