A photograph of me and my mom! :) I'm in
With the first cry of my daughter I truly understood how much my Mom loved me. I’ve always known I was abundantly loved yet the blessing and miracle in becoming a mother myself, made it more apparent. The day my daughter was born I experienced the bond between mother and child, the love between the two and a joy I couldn’t explain. I finally understood how deep my mother’s love for me and my sister was and still is. I couldn’t imagine a day without this precious little girl, a daughter. Our gift from God and hope!
While enjoying some quiet time with just mother and daughter in the hospital room, I watched her sleep, in awe of her beauty and innocence. It was during this quiet moment I realized both the joy and the pain in being a mother. I would not be able to protect her from all harm. I wouldn’t be with her all the time. As I cried I thought to myself…How does my mother manage to function on a daily basis? She has spent the past 4 years, 3 months and 28 days after Heidi’s birth wondering where her youngest daughter is? I’m only on day 1 of being a Mom? Can I do this?
My husband and I experienced multiple miscarriages prior to our miracle ~ it was a day to celebrate yet I became consumed with a confusing grief. Instead of focusing on the joy I felt the weight of my mother’s loss and grief on my shoulders. A mother’s love runs deep. I was feeling only a smidgen of a mother’s grief and I was overwhelmed and overcome. Thankfully I come from a family of tough stock and have a loving and caring God watching over me. I spent years in fear for my daughter’s safety, and it tends to be the biggest battle I face as a mother today. One thing I know is this…God is a loving God and He will protect her and is always with her, even when I’m not. And thankfully she has Jesus in her heart and knows her redeemer lives and is there for her.
I enjoy and thank God for blessing me with a daughter. I thank Him for blessing me with a strong and loving mother. My mom modeled how to be the best mom a girl could have. Thank you Mom! I love you! I pray for the strength, perseverance and faith to be the mother you prepared me to be with the Lord guiding my steps and decisions. A winning combination! You are a blessing to me!
This next part of the blog is dedicated to my mom specifically and to all mother’s who have lost a child to kidnapping. My mother has rested her eyes for 6,244 nights not knowing where her youngest daughter is. I woke in the middle of the night a couple weeks ago with the following letter to my mom for mother’s day…from Heidi. If you are searching for your missing child or your child was kidnapped and has since been recovered. I pray this letter is a blessing to you. You are all in my prayers…praying all missing children are found!
Each mother's day is a bittersweet day for my mom ~ I can thank her for being my mom and share the ways she has inspired me throughout my life. On the other hand - my precious mother wakes up not knowing where her other daughter is or if she ever will. This mother's day I'm gifting my mom with words I beleive Heidi would whisper from heaven...if she could!
Don’t cry! I love you! You raised me to be a strong willed and determined young lady. I used the strategies, skills, and wisdom you shared with me during my childhood to fight. I may not be with you today but know I am always in your heart. Keep telling the stories and remembering. Continue to talk and share of who I was. As long as you keep my memories alive, there is hope. I pray we meet again one day in Heaven. The Bible says all we have to do is call out to Jesus and He will answer. He is a loving and compassionate God and has held me under the shelter of His wings. Happy Mother’s Day Mom!
Thank you for choosing to put your feet on the floor each morning, brush your teeth, get dressed, and wear a smile as you descend down the steps to start another day without me by your side. I cherish the memories we made and the warmth of your hug. So many good things have happened since my kidnapping ~ family reunited, community joining together to keep all children safe, and new and renewed faith in God. (Did you know Lisa accepted Christ as her Savior and was baptized once again? Go Lisa! Big but and all) Mom, I pray you continue to fight and keep praying…I will be found and be home again one day in the near future. Thanks for always being there, knowing what I needed before I did, and listening to my dreams, fears and wishes.
I love you Mom! Happy Mother’s Day!
This is a note written by me. I pray it helps. Moms ~ remember you are amazing and have done everything you possibly could do in this life to keep your children safe! They are in God’s hands now…keep praying!
Today’s YouTube song is about an 11 year old girl, Heidi Seeman. The search and rescue expert that assisted on my sister’s case (Heidi Allen) shared this song with us shortly after his arrival to the Heidi Allen Command Center in 1994. It is precious…
Lisa M Buske
P.O. Box 323