Have You Used the Word Closure?

"The reality is that we don't forget, move on,
and have closure, but rather we honor,
we remember, and incorporate our deceased
children and siblings into our lives in a new way.
In fact, keeping memories of your loved one
alive in your mind and heart is an
​important part of your healing journey."
~ Harriet Schiff, author of The Bereaved Parent

I recently had the opportunity to do an interview with Tamron Hall, host of the "Deadline: Crime with Tamron Hall" show. Sometime in the near future, Tamron will air an hour episode on my sister, Heidi M Allen's kidnapping case. I don' t know everyone or anyone else that was interviewed, the title of the episode, or the air date BUT one thing I do know...Tamron Hall interviewed with integrity, grit, and grace.

Prior to the interview I was nervous because you never know what they will ask, how they will ask the questions, or their goal or hidden agendas. It was comforting to sit with Tamron Hall and relax and share Heidi, the person, my fun-loving, and determined sister. I'm sure the show will cover all aspects of Heidi's kidnapping, the original trials, and current hearings, as they should. Yet I don't have the empty pit in my stomach of their intentions. Their questions focused on the victim, the missing girl, twenty-three years later...still missing.

One of the questions asked was about "closure". Before I could even answer, Tamron shook her head and we had a conversation about this word and the misconception it holds to those who haven't experienced a tragedy. As I thought about this today, I wanted to take a moment to thank Tamron and her crew for being who they said they were and I look forward to seeing their show on Heidi and her kidnapping case. May it be as fair and honest as the interview I participated in.

Closure is a word, not an ending. Heidi is missing...and lives of many are forever changed because of her kidnapping.

What does "closure" mean to you?