As much as I enjoy laughing, some days are more difficult than others. Thankfully I’m generally happy and enjoy life yet sometimes I just want to stay in bed, under the covers and watch television all day. Yet I’ve learned, this doesn’t help or make me feel better. Laughing on the other hand…always makes me feel better. Check out the laugh on Heidi’s face in this picture…Life is good…living for the living and honoring those that have gone before me.
August 22, 2009 Part 2 of 3 (If you missed yesterday’s post – you will want to read that first, this is the continuation)
“Change doesn’t always have to be bad. Losing a loved one to abduction is TERRIBLE but God is bigger than any tragedy we will suffer here on earth. As the choir sang “Angels Looked Down” I closed my eyes and felt God holding me and talking to me – He told me to remember He looked down with his Heavenly angels on Jesus on the day of his crucifixion. Similarly, He was looking down on Heidi when she was abducted and murdered. While sitting in the tabernacle and listening to the angels sing – God sang a hope and peace into my heart. He sat there holding me and comforting me throughout the song. Simply loving me and reminding me – He always has a plan and it isn’t mine to understand. Only God could be providing the much needed comfort with a tap of truth. I’ve blamed God for leaving Heidi alone to such tragedy when we couldn’t help her. God never left her – He was with her through it all, holding her like He was holding me tonight. The abduction being on Easter wasn’t a mistake or a punishment. It is a blessing – a blessing much disguised.
I opened my eyes and there were smiles abound yet I didn’t feel like smiling. Instead I wanted to fall on my knees with a bowed head and thank God for sitting with me. I wanted to humble myself before God, just as Jesus had done so many years before. Instead I sat with eyes closed continuing to praise God for all He has done, is doing and hopes to do in my life. I apologized for not seeing the beauty in the day of her disappearance. I’m not saying it was a great or even good day in my life. Please don’t misunderstand me – I love my sister and miss her every day. The point I am trying to express is this – If God is gracious enough to share the day of His Son’s resurrection with my sister, then I should be thankful. I am thankful for a God that loved my sister enough to share this most precious and special day with her and with me. It is because Jesus was crucified and rose from the dead – that I am reborn and walking with hope for tomorrow.”
The conclusion of this writing will be in tomorrow’s blog – be sure to finish the story. J
Lisa M Buske
P.O. Box 323