Earlier in the week my husband, Ed, and I joined the gym. We decided it's worth the $20 a month to dedicate time and monies to getting healthy. It also allows us time to talk and catch up. I'm learning it is common for "empty nesters", like us, to have a hard time communicating after the kiddo(s) fly from the nest and start their new journey. Who knew, not me.
It makes sense though, think about it...for eighteen plus years, unless you are amazing and established a plan while the child was still "in utero", you can most likely relate to this new found time and communication barrier. This is the opposite of what I thought. I'm so naive, or is it that I just didn't have a lot of "empty nester" friends prior to this year.
Another challenge I face is to establish a healthy life style routine I can manage and continue with on a VERY routine basis. As I sat wallowing in my own pity one evening it came to me. Ed and I could join the gym. Not only would this help our physical health, it will renew our communication and dedicate time each week together. I'll admit, the first day, Ed put in both his ear buds and listened to the sports channel he selected as his entertainment. Meanwhile, I only had one ear bud in, the opposite ear of the side Ed was walking on his treadmill. I figured I could have the background of Channel 9's news in one ear and a conversation with Ed at the same time. Not so much.
I was annoyed at first UNTIL I realized something. Ed is a man! He doesn't know this exercise time is a date and a means to reconnect and communicate. He thinks, or should I say, thought, it was just about the physical activity. Duh, he's a man. How do I expect him to realize my intent and heart's desire, if I don't tell him? Guess what, the next workout date, he still used both ear buds but talked with me more than the first time. We are work in progress. I need to be more understanding of my husband (man brain)'s need for sports in the morning while he gives a little time for his wife (female brain)'s desire to "bond" and "reconnect". We are synergy in motion...literally! LOL
This is a work in process and I'm a needy wife, wanting his attention and thoughtful conversation at 5 a.m., before we even drink our coffee. I choose to be thankful he joined the gym with me and even more thankful that each time we go, the conversations get longer and a little more interesting. Who knows, we might even lose weight and establish healthy exercise routines. A win-win if you ask me!
Any other "Empty Nesters" out there that can relate?
Lisa M Buske
P.O. Box 323