True confessions of a Christian, I am NOT perfect. Actually, I am as human as the next person is. This week in a moment of weakness, I lost control. This is not my first blunder in life or my first since choosing to trust God with my life. It will be the first time to share one of my moments with the world and some of my close friends will laugh through a majority of blog as they think, “Wow Lisa! This tops anything you have done in the past.”
With a broken window, shaking body, and a look to freeze someone in his or her tracks I arrived at work. My husband, Ed, drove me and said, “I hope your day gets better. I love you.” With a “Ditto”, I closed the car door and walked into school. Instead of a Tigger bounce through the main office, I felt like Eeyore beaten down by life. The secretary asked, “Are you okay?” and the only words I could utter, “Murphy and his law seem to have control of this day.” I was not a picture of joy or the power of Christ in me.
Shoulders low and eyes glazed, I had a decision to make. I either put on the mask of past years or carry on as if nothing happened or I could confess my failing and move forward. I chose the confession. After bearing all to a friend, I gave it to God and asked Him to forgive me. A few times throughout the day I retreated to the restroom to let some of life’s tears go. Why didn’t I go to God first?
What triggered such childish behavior? A slow working computer, I thought. In reflection, the computer was not the target of my frustration but the final thing to push me over the edge. Instead of prayer, I swore. Instead of asking God to help me, I cried. Instead of walking away, to take a break, I threw the closest thing to me. A teaching series titled “The Safety Zone” by Joyce Meyer. I love the irony of my choice in items to lose control with, don’t you? God used this as a gentle reminder when I returned home to clean up my mess.
I am not recommending you become so frustrated you bust a window yet at the same time I believe it reflects one’s life before we trust God to take care of our troubles. We are cracked, broken, and sometimes shattered for the world to see. It is only through the bloodshed by Jesus Christ on the cross for our sins that we are healed and forgiven. Jesus did this out of love. A love far greater and more pure than any love we will experience here on earth.
Although we might have broken shards of the past on the inside, through our relationship with Jesus and His blood pierced hands…we are new. Our heart healed so all those on the outside see are the brilliance of healing and joy. May we give our stress, troubles, concerns, and whatever ails us over to Him. Only He has the capacity and willingness to carry it for us.
My bad morning turned into an amazing day once I smartened up and realized I could not do it on my own. I needed help, Divine Help. Moreover, He…is Faithful.
Lisa M Buske
P.O. Box 323