Yesterday as I dropped my daughter to my parent’s in the morning we were greeted with one of the most beautiful sunrises. Mary and I paused to enjoy this breathtaking sight. In spite of not feeling well she paused and said, “Wow, I needed that.” I assured her God knew. We all need a beautiful SonRise to encourage our hearts and minds.
Each year as the anniversary date of Heidi’s kidnapping approaches my moods seem to swing quicker and in a variety of directions. Do you have a similar situation when such dates come upon you? Sometimes I don’t mean to snap, make a face, or respond the way I do. Most of the time I am thinking about something else and don’t even realize I made face, sound, or shook my head. The people around me either think I am nuts or a miserable person. My apologies to you all, I try to keep my focus. Honest.
I stood in the drive for a few minutes, closed my eyes and thanked God for loving us enough to bless us with such beauty. Just think, if a sunrise like this can take our breath away…oh the beauty and joy of heaven.
Heidi disappeared early in April yet there were no spring flowers blooming. Mud and snow blanketed the earth like a patch quilt across the pastures. We weren’t blessed with the beauty of the sun but instead with snow. Damp, cold, and bitter snow that mirrored my inner most thoughts – damp, cold, and bitter. Why Heidi? Why? What kind of God takes such a hard working and innocent young woman?
The answer…it wasn’t God!! God did NOT take my beloved sister. It took me many years to understand this. God is loving, compassionate, and our friend. I spent more than a decade blaming Him, unable to view Him as anything more than the very person responsible. I would like to tell you this concept came to me the second I accepted Jesus as my Savior. Not!
I felt a peace, love, and sense of hope instantly yet the lessons learned came in time. His time…only enough truth to digest for each particular moment. I’ll admit at times I didn’t think I could go another day but then I heard my Gram’s voice, “God will NEVER give you more than you can handle.” It was obvious God believed I was stronger than I did. Then one day it hit me, “I” can’t do it…only in His strength. Ah…the aha moment every teacher prays to witness.
Is there a day that goes by I don’t miss my sister? No.
Will I ever forget my sister? Never.
Will I forever praise the God who loved, healed, and lifted me up? Yes.
Will I share this with others? Yes.
I can’t tell you the type of woman, wife, mother, daughter, or friend I would be if Heidi hadn’t been kidnapped yet I know I’m stronger because of our loss. Heidi was beautiful and brought a smile to anyone she met. How could you not just love this face? In His strength and time…I will see my sister again and we will celebrate the best sister day ever.
“‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes.
There will be no more death’ or mourning
or crying or pain,
for the old order of things
has passed away.”
Lisa M Buske
P.O. Box 323