I still focus on this first and foremost but at times, to not know where Heidi is and wrestle with why some missing children and adults are found while others aren't, can be emotionally draining and lead to physical debilitation. This is one reason I spend time reading my Bible, in prayer, and surrounded by an encouraging bunch of people.
It's easy to slip in to the "Why me?" downward spiral and this isn't the path I want or the one God chose for me, my family, Heidi's friends, or this community. I'm thankful for each person praying, hoping, and advocating for Heidi's return. I'm thankful for the families who know where their missing loved is now and pray for them on the next part of their journey, the journey of living without their loved one or living a "new" life with the forever-changed recovered loved one.
Faith isn't the ability to believe long and far into the misty future.
This was an important and necessary realization for me but another one revealed itself to me in the midst. Do you remember how I talked about searching the news and Facebook for an update in yesterday's blog?
I underplayed my searching the news stations and Internet for updates. I was nearly obsessed. I'd pray, Lord, please hold this precious little girl in the shadow of your wings, with one breath and then check all four television stations for an update. No news, no updates.
Thank you Lord, give the searchers Your eyes to see and her parents, family, and neighbors strength as they wait. Lord, may this little one, your child, feel your presence in a real way until she is found. Amen
Some of the same desires drawing me to the news and social media are the same that created stress this past summer. Whereas this summer, we just wanted the media to stop calling, driving by, and seeking us out because we were waiting, just like all of you. I'm thankful the majority of the media was understanding to this yet as I reflect on my "need to know" in regards to this missing girl, I have a new understanding to the media's role in a situation like this.
I won't lie, the stress, increased emotions, and drama of this past summer continue to weigh on our entire families' hearts, as we continue to wait with a heightened level of not knowing and the unknown. Our goal is the same today as it was on April 3, 1994...to find Heidi.
While the media continues to do their job and report the news, I pray to remember how I felt waiting earlier this month. I wasn't waiting, searching, and praying because I didn't care but just the opposite...I was driven by compassion, love, mercy, and hope for another family's missing loved one. With this being said, thank you for your desire to know what is going on as it relates to my sister's case. Heidi M Allen, missing for over twenty years yet never forgotten...you are all evidence of this. Thank you!
Tomorrow's Blog: Another Revelation - "Times Have Changed"