Last week I posted a blog with a picture of the piles of laundry waiting to be folded and the array of piles growing nearly as tall as us. My husband shook his head as I admitted to the blogosphere my lack of motivation and desire to do housework lately. I'm a slacker wife and mother, what can I say. Or am I grieving daughter trying to figure out how to keep moving forward with joy and care for my family? Regardless the adjectives you link to me, the truth and reality is the same. My house was a chaotic disaster. It resembled how I felt on the inside and until last week, I didn't even complain because I just didn't care.
Yet in the midst of blogging the #ChristmasCountdown, something happened. God restored the joy and desire to write. He reminded me, nudged me, and loved me through your comments and messages. He hugged me through my friends and sisters-in-Christ. He enveloped me in His grace and mercy to not just go through the motions of Christmas but to experience a little joy.
Did I get the Christmas decorations down from the attic? No. Did we put up a tree and bling the house out in red and green? No. Did we slowly figure out this year's normal and what worked for our family? Yes. Did we celebrate the birth of Jesus with our church family? Yes. Did the tradition of Christmas breakfast at my parent's house continue? Yes. Was it a different kind of year? Yes.
Were we right or wrong in the decisions we made? I don't think so. With grief, there is no right or wrong as long as we don't dwell in any one area too long. I received some great gifts from my Dad, husband, and daughter. Mostly for the kitchen, a gentle nudge from heaven to get baking and cooking. These things bring me joy and help me think and relax, of course my family reaps the benefits too. A multitude of Dunkin Donuts and even some Minion apparel (my first thanks to my daughter). Even with the fabulousness of these items, I think God delivered the greatest of gifts...He restored hope, joy, love, and even forgiveness in my heart.
I'm not where I need to be but I'm closer than I was a week ago, or even yesterday for that matter. It's the little things that help us move forward with joy and a smile on our face. With this in mind, check it out...I cleaned the house and each time I walk in and even as I sit in my new reading nook, I say out loud, "I like this". Something as simple as moving the furniture and running the vacumm cleared more than physical clutter, it removed spiritual clutter.
I'm not where I need to be but I'm closer than I was a week ago, or even yesterday for that matter. It's the little things that help us move forward with joy and a smile on our face. With this in mind, check it out...I cleaned the house and each time I walk in and even as I sit in my new reading nook, I say out loud, "I like this".
Something as simple as moving the furniture and running the vacuum cleared more than physical clutter, it removed spiritual clutter. My favorite aspect of the move, my new reading and study nook. Since taking this picture, I've organized the shelf between the two chairs and it's neat and tidy too. Feeling thankful for the motivation to "get over it" as my Gram would say and not just go through the motions but to move forward with purpose and hope...one day and step at a time.
If you ever experienced loss or a struggle
Lisa M Buske
P.O. Box 323