TOP's Tuesday: Want to know a secret? Read on...

I Miss my sister!

For the past few years I've spent either days or weeks with a blog series to remember and share my sister, Heidi M Allen, with all of you. This year we are doing something different. I still plan to do some type of series yet it won't be a continuous set of blogs as my time is being spent honoring Heidi's memory in a different way this year. A way you can still be involved, just not necessarily via the blog each day between now and April third.

As of today, my beautiful sister, Heidi M. Allen has been missing:
March 18th, 2014 is 7,289 days.
This is equal to exactly 19 years, 11 months, and 15 days.
7,289 days is equal to 1041 weeks and 2 days.
The total time span from 1994-04-03 to 2014-03-18 is 174,936 hours.
This is equivalent to 10,496,160 minutes.
You can also convert 7,289 days to 629,769,600 seconds.
Information from: http://www.convertunits.com/dates/from/Apr+3,+1994/to/Mar+18,+2014

On April 3, 2004, the ten year anniversary of Heidi's kidnapping, I hit rock bottom and didn't think I had a hope in the world. I missed my sister more than I had since the day she was taken from the D & W Convenience Store. Ten year anniversaries are supposed to be celebratory and joyful in nature, not grief stricken and gut wrenching.

How did I cope in with this anniversary? I scoured mile after mile of woods, empty lots, back roads, and water ways searching for Heidi based of the information obtained from various psychics. Was this beneficial? NO!

The only thing it did was make me feel better in the moment. The hours and dollars spent on and with psychics only felt like they helped. It appeared they cared and had information to share when in fact, they preyed on the grief, need, and weakness of loss. The key word is "felt", feelings can't and shouldn't be trusted. Psychics don't give you the truth, instead they hide in the darkness with a veil of lies portrayed as hope while actually stealing our hope, security, and faith. This was a trap I fell into. I saw sheep, not the wolves.

"Watch out for false prophets.
They come to you in sheep's clothing,
but inwardly they are ferocious wolves."
Matthew 7:15 NIV

Thankfully, the Truth truly did set me free. And I'm here to tell you, it can also set YOU free if you let it. We can't hide in the darkness, instead we need to look up and keep our faith. The biggest mistake I made was run from God after Heidi disappeared.

In 2004, I thought this would be the most difficult anniversary of Heidi's kidnapping. I was wrong. Each is difficult and the weeks leading up to April third still break me down and return me to 1994 yet a few stand out. 2004, 2012, and this year.

To learn why the 18th anniversary of Heidi's kidnapping was so difficult, read tomorrow's blog. The good news, in 2004 I hid in the darkness but in 2012, I buried myself in the Word and looked to God for the strength, guidance, and hope. HE never fails.

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A song I remember singing with Heidi and now lift to her in prayer...

When did you realize God never left you?
Have you experienced a wolf in sheep clothing before?
What Light saved you?