TOP's Tuesday: What is a writer without words?

I've spent the past couple years looking forward to writing each week's TOP's Tuesday until today. Don't get me wrong, I still love this blog as it's one way to honor Heidi each week and share any new updates about my writing or speaking but this week the meaning is much deeper and the words seem to be few.

This Thursday, a short two days away, when the clock strikes 7:42 a.m., we will remember the last time we knew where Heidi was and that she was okay. On April 3, 1994, Heidi Allen went to work so a coworker could stay home to watch her kiddos find and enjoy their Easter baskets. This year, on the 20th anniversary of Heidi's kidnapping we will gather at the very spot used in the initial moments following Heidi's abduction.

With this Community Gathering of Hope so near, you'd think I would have a lot to share with you on the TOP's Tuesday blog yet words fail me.

I could write about the process of scanning all the pictures we found from the fire barn and community events for Heidi. I could share the pain and grief felt to see so many faces that are no longer with us today, because twenty years is a long time. I might tell you how many tears were shed as over three hundred pictures were scanned, cropped, edited, and then put together into a slide show to share with all of you on Thursday. Or possibly, share how our community is such a blessing to me and to compile this slide show brought encouragement at the same time. 

Or do I write about the thoughts running circles in my brain as I make new buttons to share with the community. Memories of the fire barn, the center, and all the volunteers who gave so much to help us search for Heidi. Then the thoughts transition to the families of the volunteers, or our law enforcement's families, who sacrificed so you could be there.

Do I share how friends today continue to pray me through this week, with God hearing and answering each prayer? Do I share the things I learned this week, another wedding I attended but don't have a memory of being there? Do I tell you how embarrassed and ashamed I was when I looked a friend in the eyes to hear about their wedding reception and that I even made them an album with pictures yet don't remember being there. What kind of friend am I?

I could write about the surprise my daughter is making to share with all of you, as a gift to my parents and you. Do I reflect on the interviews I've done in the past week and those I have in the next couple days?

Check it out, for not knowing what to write...I wrote a lot. Maybe the better descriptive would be, focused on preparations for Thursday. Focus is frazzled as my mind attempts to accept Heidi's been missing two decades as of Thursday. I'm encouraged because Thursday is an opportunity for us to say thank you to all of you. And then there is the excitement on April 3rd, as it's the anniversary of the release of Where's Heidi? One Sister's Journey. This brings much mixed emotion.

So from a writer without words to you, the reader ~ thank you.

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