Birthdays are cause for celebration as we blow out the candles atop the cake we make a wish or two. As Heidi giggles in anticipation for her candles to be lit, do you think she was contemplating what her wish might be? I don’t think so either. At the young and innocent age of three I am sure the only thing she was thinking, Can I lick the frosting off the candles? Or I wonder what Mom and Dad have in that big box in the corner?
What about my parents, what thoughts might be running through their heads? Are they focused on Heidi’s giggle, the multiple off topic conversations, the other kids pushing and teasing each other, or my Gram trying to regain control so we can light the candles and sing? I don’t know but my parents were thinking then but could only imagine based on my prior experience when Mags was three.
The same is true when it comes to the loss experienced by a parent when their child goes missing, is killed, murdered, or dies before them. Thankfully I don’t have any prior knowledge to help make the association yet even if I had – it wouldn’t be the same as my parents. Ken and Sue Allen are as unique as Heidi. Each missing person is an individual and their family unit has similar facets. No missing child case is the same, no situation is the same, and NO ONE can understand how my parents or any parent of a missing child feel.
Some might empathize or imagine how it must feel yet even other parents of the missing will tell you, each case and each parent’s emotions are different. God didn’t make us cookie cutters of each other and neither are the cases associated with our loved one’s disappearance.
I asked my parents “How did you feel?” and there response after a distant and empty stare made me regret asking. “Lisa, I don’t know how to put it into words and we hope you never know.” Silence…
Celebrate life! Don’t wait for a birthday because we are not guaranteed tomorrow or even a moment from now. Make sure your children know how much you love them. Let your brothers and sisters know how important they are to you. I pray to never have an inkling of how my parents feel but their honesty help me to know how I can be praying for them and other parents.
I lost my one and only sister, my friend on April 3rd. Mom and Dad lost a part of themselves, one they haven’t been able to replace. Nothing can take the place of a lost loved one yet Hope to see our loved ones in Eternity is mightier than the loss.
Will you take a moment to watch today’s video? These children have blown out their candles, made wishes, and wondered what was inside the Elmo wrapped box in the corner before their youth was taken from them. Their parents didn’t know when they got up that morning that they would never see their children again…do your kids and parents know how much you love and appreciate them? What if tomorrow doesn’t come? Celebrate life…share your love.
“LORD, remind me how brief my time on earth will be.
Remind me that my days are numbered—
how fleeting my life is.
You have made my life no longer than
the width of my hand.
My entire lifetime is just a moment to you;
at best, each of us is but a breath.”
We are merely moving shadows,
and all our busy rushing ends in nothing.
We heap up wealth,
not knowing who will spend it.
And so, Lord, where do I put my hope?
My only hope is in you.
Lisa M Buske
P.O. Box 323