There have been moments in my life when I've felt alone. In Where's Heidi? One Sister's Journey I write about how I was surrounded by hundreds of volunteers, law enforcement, and family yet still felt alone. Sometimes we can be overwhelmed with an abundance of people around to support us but deep within the depths of our heart...no one is there.
Lately I've experienced moments and feelings similar to when Heidi disappeared. It seems that in life when stress is thrust at you, responses become reactive instead of proactive. We can choose to push through in our own strength or we can move forward leaning on God and the people He places in our path to encourage, inspire, and uplift us at "just the right moment".
While the situation is very different, feelings of isolation and exclusion attempt to overtake my thoughts and actions. In Where's Heidi?, I share about observing the private conversations from a distance and the hurt felt when uninvited to important meetings. Recently, a similar instance happened and satan used this instance in an attempt to drive a wedge.
I have a choice. I can hold a grudge and waste precious time with someone I love dearly OR I can accept the situation as a past event and move forward. While it's difficult, I MUST move forward. The devil would like nothing more than for me to dwell on this event and create a wedge between the people I love most. While it might sound like I've conquered this, I haven't.
I will not let the devil steal my joy, my time, or thoughts for this event. It's a challenge to do this but instead of whining to the wind, I'll cry out to Jesus through prayer. God knows the hearts and intentions within each of us, my hope is to forgive and move forward in order to keep the peace and eventually to feel His peace in this situation.
The hurt remains yet I choose to prayerfully move forward. This is a daily choice. It's only been a few days and if I think about the situation too much, the pain leaks from my eyes. This is what the devil wants. He desires us to dwell on the past and miss opportunities to share of God's goodness, God's love, God's healing power, God's forgiveness, God's power to transform our sinful hearts to something as pure and white as Heaven. I choose God's light of love and forgiveness, not the darkness of deception and past mistakes.
The Lord Almighty is with us;
You are Never Alone...God Knows and Hears
Lisa M Buske
P.O. Box 323