Keeping it Real...One Sister's JourneyWelcome to my blog! No matter how you found this, God knew you'd be here today. May you absorb the message He has for you through my writing, photos, and more. I enjoy sharing hope to encourage others.
In 2011 it was through the written word, today I've learned there is more to me than just writing and speaking. I use my love of cooking with sharing and it's renewed an energy and hope within me. I look forward to sharing this with you here. Thanks for stopping by! Be sure to leave a comment on the blog or recipe that speaks to you. God is at work in all you and I each do, it's up to us to share this with others. |
Can you believe it is the last day of March already? If you live in Upstate New York then you know the blessing of a winter we had this year. I only had to warm up my van and scrape the windows of ice a couple times. We only shoveled the driveway once with my uncle and our neighbor graciously dropping their plows each once. This is uncommon but because of this, there is a great chance of getting a couple days back over Memorial Day weekend. WooHoo! Earlier in the week, I posted my first Vlog and invited you to post questions you have for me and I would attempt to answer them via Vlog. I did receive a few questions to get us started. The first came from Mags, “What do they think happened to Heidi?” and “What is your favorite food and Why?” I read her questions and could only smile because the first is a question we have heard many times since she was old enough to realize something must have happened to this aunt she never saw or met.  I didn’t bring up her questions and finally she spoke, “Did you see my questions? You won’t answer me when I ask so I thought you might if I posted it on your blog because others might be wondering the same thing.” Ouch, this is one sharp kid and has figured out her Mom’s wiring. I did chuckle at the likeness to me she was modeling in her boldness and creativity. How can I not answer her question? With God’s help and much prayer I have answered via today’s Vlog. "What do they think happened to Heidi?" I know this picture is a little blury yet it is one big hug from my wonderful sister! Oh my goodness, because of the heat from the Fire! As I walked through the door, my parents with sheepish grins greeted me on their faces. “A surprise for you!” I saw the bag but before I picked it up, I noticed the top my father had repaired for me. If I would have known the magic he was going to work there would have been a before picture. Oh my! Thank you Dad! I asked him to fix the knob because the one on it broke and this is the masterpiece he returned to me. As if this wasn’t enough, there was still the white Staples bag to open.  Before opening the bag, I read a beautiful note from my parents: April 3, 2012 To Lisa! We wanted to get this for you for the 18th anniversary on April 3rd in honor of Heidi and you doing the book in her memory. Hopefully your book will be published soon so you are ready to download to your own Kindle. We were going to wait to give on the 3rd but you know me, couldn’t wait figuring you would have the weekend to enjoy and play with. Love Mom and Dad!  A Kindle Fire with a $25 gift card for April 3rd!! This is so much better than an Easter basket full of black jellybeans and peeps!
I couldn’t get it out of the box quick enough. And the best part, it was fully charged in the box! Yes! Instead of the usual time of visiting at the kitchen table, I loaded Mags and the Kindle Fire into the van and we headed home. With many thanks given, we were off. My parents sat laughing at my five-year Christmas eyes and excitement and the shook their heads when I left them to come home and finish the setup. It is amazing. The first thing downloaded was “Cut the Rope” and “Fruit Ninja” by Mags. I am most positive she is hoping this means I won’t ask to borrow her IPod Touch anymore since I can play the games on my Kindle. The first books downloaded: the NIV Bible, The Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer, Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin, and A Child is Missing by Karen Beaudin. Once Ed gets home, we are off to 5 Below to purchase the accessories to keep the Kindle safe from scratches and me. Lol A huge and special thanks to my parents for once again blessing me above and beyond…It is my honor and privilege to write about Heidi and the way God has worked in and through my life as a result. You are the best parents ever!!! I love you!  On August 21, 1993, my father walked me down the aisle to the shaking, cold, and clammy hand attached to my husband’s arm. My sister stood by my side as my maid-of-honor with jokes, tears, and encouragement every step of the way. Most of the photographs from last year’s remembrance blog series came from a pink album gifted to me by Heidi as a shower gift. Pages and pages of silly, serious, ridiculous, and plain funny shots captured of Heidi and I together from birth through only weeks before I became Mrs. Edward T. Buske. This year my Mom, Mags, and I scoured the collection of photographs at my parent’s house for something new. We want you to “know” Heidi because she is so much more than a face on a poster…she is my beloved sister. As the above photo displaced out of the stack and onto the floor I smiled when it landed on the floor. I remember how excited Heidi was to be the flower girl for Kathy’s wedding.  HOWEVER, the smile soon faded and a tear formed in my eye. Heidi walked down the aisle as a flower girl, then as a bride’s maid yet she will never be the bride. She was young, full of life, and in love, yet our Dad wasn’t able to walk her down the aisle. She never heard “Ladies and gentleman for the first time in history I would like to introduce you to Mr. and Mrs. …” no father-daughter dance, and no honeymoon. There are times I could look at these photos of Heidi as flower girl, Heidi and I with Auntie M, or Heidi and I at my wedding and cry for the joy she was deprived. Yet when I see the longing and pure happiness on her face when she looked at her boyfriend, I am thankful. She may never walk arm in arm with her Daddy to the front alter to have her veil lifted and given to her future groom but she experienced love. She loved another and received this same loved in return. Most of Heidi’s friends have married, started families and grown to see their dreams come to fruition. I’m thankful they include me in their celebrations and sorrows. I’m thankful some blessed me with the opportunity to watch them walk down the aisle. Heidi’s wedding day never came to be yet true love did. For this, I am thankful.  If you have lost a loved one ~ what is one thing you wish they could have experienced, done, saw, or heard before they passed away?  
This isn’t our last “Walk with Him Wednesday” yet it is the last one in this year’s Heidi remembrance series. As I contemplated which items to share with you my journaling since our previous list I thought of something. I’m thankful for each of you. You have made the days leading up to the 18th anniversary more joyful through your encouragement, love, and prayers. Thank you!
The process of writing down all the things you are thankful for is worth the time and effort required. After you do this a few days it is evident, the energy necessary is minimal yet the reward…priceless. May your eyes be open to the blessings and provision of God today and each day.
 Thank you for following this year’s “Heidi Remembrance Blog Series”. Your comments, emails, and notes are such an encouragement to my entire family. Earlier in the series, I invited you to email me photos of you and Heidi with a story if you were interested in sharing. I have received a couple emails with personal stories that brought tears to my eyes from laughing and because of the generosity of my wonderful sister. Thank you for sharing. It isn’t too late. If you have a photographic memory to share, you can still email me at [email protected]. I look forward to hearing from you. A favorite memory I have of Heidi and I performing took place upstairs in my parent’s house, in our bedroom. We used the chair from the make-up table to reach the attic entrance so we could hang our curling iron cords from the ceiling. With the plug portion in the attic, we would gently let the attic door close. Once secure the curling irons magically became “microphones” and we were pop stars. Oh my goodness, we were lip syncing before Milli Vanilli was a thought. And we were good! As I taped my first Vlog I had to chuckle. Heidi and I so would have been taping for YouTube and making videos if today’s technology existed in the 70’s and 80’s. Below is my first Vlog. Today’s question for you: “What questions do you have for me?” It can be about my writing, the book, my speaking, or any other question you might have. Post your questions below and I’ll do my best to Vlog a response to you as we continue to remember Heidi this week. April 3rd is one week from today…do you have a tradition or special something you do to remember your loved one when the anniversary of their death or disappearance is upon you? I look forward to your questions and hearing how you remember your loved ones. Lisa |