Keeping it Real...Welcome! No matter how you found this, God knew you'd be here today. May you absorb the message He has for you. In 2011 I shared through my writing, today I've learned there is more to me than just writing. I have the energy and passion to share with others. Sometimes through Facebook live and others with my blog and most importantly, I've learned my passion to cook and bake is a vessel to share my writing and live presentations, while glorifying God in the process. I just needed to let go, and follow His lead.
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3/29/2016
TOP's Tuesday: Didn't Take a Picture This Easter than any other year. My husband and I were married in 1993 and since then, this year was the first time we didn't join either side of the family for a big Easter dinner or festivities. We didn't plan it this way, it just worked out. I wasn't sure how I'd feel about it on Easter morning but after church, we returned home and I baked bread and enjoyed cleaning my house. I puttered around the house most of the day until joining my Dad for a ham and mashed potatoes. Rather than returning home, we went to our friends' house to watch the SU basketball game and visit. It's been a couple months since getting together. The day was stress free and relaxing. Did I miss my Mom? Of course but then again, Easter was always the day when the pain of Heidi's kidnapping shined brightly in her eyes. In a sense, it was nice to know Mom knows the answer to the question we still ask, "Where's Heidi?" This coming Sunday is April 3, the final of three timeline remembrances of Heidi's kidnapping. The first, Daylight Savings Time, followed by Easter. A week later, the actual date of her disappearance. I continue to pray and hope we learn the answer of where Heidi is while my Dad is alive to know but if this isn't God's will, then I pray He continues to give us the strength, perseverance, endurance, hope, healing, love, and peace to keep moving forward as we wait. If Mom was alive, I would leave a teaser in this week's TOP's Tuesday about next week's TOP's Tuesday post. Maybe I'd say it's time to start sharing upcoming announcements about a book release or something like that, but Mom's not here to tease with anticipation. Oh wait, what about you? Are you curious? If so, you'll have to come back next week. TOP's Tuesday started as a weekly update blog about book publication, upcoming speaking engagements, and remembrances for Heidi. Let the updates begin...one week from today. What did you do over the Easter Weekend?
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| It is good to praise the Lord and make music to your name, O Most High, proclaiming your love in the morning and your faithfulness at night, to the music of the ten-stringed lyre and the melody of the harp. Psalm 92:1-3 |  |
Earlier this week, on a brisk thirty-seven degree day, I dropped my daughter off for rehearsal and headed to the lake with my 35 mm. I should have wore thin gloves because some of my photographs are a little blurry. Rather than focus on the few that are evidence of the chill, I'm thrilled with the other four-hundred pics. Yes, over 400 pictures over two hours.
It was worth every chill and the time driving from Fort Ontario on the East side of the Oswego River, to the Oswego Marina, to the outlook above the Marina, to Rudy's, SUNY Oswego, and back to the fort to capture pics from the very location I started.
I had the opportunity to spend quality time in the car with my Dad last weekend and he inspired and motivated me to pick up my camera and start snapping pictures again. It wasn't until talking with Dad that I realized I haven't really taken many pictures, just for the joy of taking them in almost (if not over) a year. It felt good and for the Leader In Me and 7 Habits people out there, I spent almost three hours sharpening my saw. And I slept better because of the fresh air too, a win-win if you ask me. I hope you like the first picture, the first taken when I started and the one of the right, just before I picked my daughter up.
It was worth every chill and the time driving from Fort Ontario on the East side of the Oswego River, to the Oswego Marina, to the outlook above the Marina, to Rudy's, SUNY Oswego, and back to the fort to capture pics from the very location I started.
I had the opportunity to spend quality time in the car with my Dad last weekend and he inspired and motivated me to pick up my camera and start snapping pictures again. It wasn't until talking with Dad that I realized I haven't really taken many pictures, just for the joy of taking them in almost (if not over) a year. It felt good and for the Leader In Me and 7 Habits people out there, I spent almost three hours sharpening my saw. And I slept better because of the fresh air too, a win-win if you ask me. I hope you like the first picture, the first taken when I started and the one of the right, just before I picked my daughter up.
Do you take time to "sharpen your saw"?
a.k.a - enhancing your best asset...YOU!
3/21/2016
Come as you are...
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith --
and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God --
not by works, so that no one can boast.
For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus
to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Ephesians 2:8-10
and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God --
not by works, so that no one can boast.
For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus
to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Ephesians 2:8-10
| Yesterday was Palm Sunday, the journey to Jesus' death on the cross. My hope is to use this Holy Week to regenerate my faith and blogging. I hope you will take this journey to the cross with me. What is your favorite part of Holy Week? Do you have a family tradition? Community Services? Church traditions? Will you share below in a comment? |  |
| Today was spent with my Dad and daughter. Most of it in the car traveling to appointments in Buffalo. Memories and laughter filled the car. In life, we are given the opportunity to make choices. We could mourn my mom by cancelling appointments and staying in bed, or we could stay the course. We know what Mom would want, so we spent the day together. The appointments went well and our travel delivered us to Buffalo and home again safely. As we headed home, I saw this sign "Old Editions Bookshop". I think this might be worth a visit one day when I'm in Buffalo again, when we are exhausted that is. LOL |  |
 | The thruway offers such beautiful scenery and I wish it was safe to pull over with my 35 mm to take pictures. Since it isn't safe, Dad and I talked about how beautiful it was. From the bird nests atop all the trees in the swamp area that are hidden when the leaves are on the tree. Or the hundreds of blue and white buckets hanging from the trees filling with sap during these warm days. On top of a hill was an American Flag flying with the green and blue as a backdrop but I wasn't quick enough with my phone camera, so all I got was the hill and clouds, but I remember the beautiful red, white, and blue waving its brilliance & strength for all to see. |
| On the way home, talking about the appointments and sharing memories, memories of my mom, family vacations, and talking of the future. This photo was taken after I shared a message with the Fulton Alliance women and their friends. This was a fun time of fellowship and challenging the ladies to ask if they are being lured are are alluring. I even put on my Dad's rubber fishing pants, which made my laugh to watch me "jump" to get in. A great memory... Want to learn more about this message, click here. It's the first year I didn't make a chocolate cake with peanut butter frosting for Mom on her birthday. We miss her so much and to remember her on her birthday instead of celebrating and spoiling her made for a different day, yet one we spent together. | 
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How do you remember your loved ones on their birthday?
Come out and see "Mary Poppins" performed by the Mexico High School drama department.
The show runs March 3rd, 4th, and 5th, all show times at 7:00 pm
Tickets are $10.00 at the door.
Thank you, and hope to see you all there!
Due to construction at high school, all performances
will take place in the Mexico Middle School auditorium.
The show runs March 3rd, 4th, and 5th, all show times at 7:00 pm
Tickets are $10.00 at the door.
Thank you, and hope to see you all there!
Due to construction at high school, all performances
will take place in the Mexico Middle School auditorium.
Like what you see? Want to see more?
You'll have to come to the show to experience it!
March 3, 4, and 5 at 7 p.m.
Held at the Mexico Middle School due to renovations at the high school.
Where's Heidi Allen?
Photo designed by Donna Seabrook
Yesterday Judge King filed his decision in regards to Gary Thibodeau's attempt for another retrial, it was denied, along with other motions (I think this is the word) filed by the defense attorney. Some believe this means it is over yet it is never over, just this leg of the journey is. And most importantly, our family's goal in 1994 is the same today, to bring Heidi home. This hasn't happened yet, so our journey continues.
I want to thank each and everyone of you who continue to remember Heidi and our family in your thoughts and prayers. We will never give up hope on Heidi and that we will know where she is one day, to bring her home where she belongs. I thank those who have sent messages and notes over the past year and a half when God placed it on your heart. They were such an encouragement. We were overwhelmed by your support almost twenty -two years ago and this continues to this day. THANK YOU!
I also want to thank the media for the respect and consideration you extend to the families involved during such stressful and difficult times. We appreciate it. Thank you for respecting my parents wishes to wait until the judge filed his decision to contact the family. I wish my Mom was able to hear the decision but she wasn't, nor is she hear to give a comment to the media. I have been representing my parents behind the microphones and ink on your paper for a couple years as Mom's arthritis got worse. I'd like to thank the media's acceptance and grace with me as I learned this new role, daughter, sister, and spokeswoman.
In the next few days, when I'm not working or supporting my daughter at the theater, I will share with local media. Here is the "press release" I sent to them. To write for the newspaper and media is by far the most difficult form of writing I do. I hope you know how much you are each appreciated. You may read this, or portions there of, in the newspaper or hear it on the radio or television but in case you miss it, I want to be sure you know we appreciate you.
Our journey is not over. Heidi is remembered and never forgotten.
We will never give up until the question of Heidi's whereabouts is answered...
hopeful and hope filled. Praying Heidi comes home!
I want to thank each and everyone of you who continue to remember Heidi and our family in your thoughts and prayers. We will never give up hope on Heidi and that we will know where she is one day, to bring her home where she belongs. I thank those who have sent messages and notes over the past year and a half when God placed it on your heart. They were such an encouragement. We were overwhelmed by your support almost twenty -two years ago and this continues to this day. THANK YOU!
I also want to thank the media for the respect and consideration you extend to the families involved during such stressful and difficult times. We appreciate it. Thank you for respecting my parents wishes to wait until the judge filed his decision to contact the family. I wish my Mom was able to hear the decision but she wasn't, nor is she hear to give a comment to the media. I have been representing my parents behind the microphones and ink on your paper for a couple years as Mom's arthritis got worse. I'd like to thank the media's acceptance and grace with me as I learned this new role, daughter, sister, and spokeswoman.
In the next few days, when I'm not working or supporting my daughter at the theater, I will share with local media. Here is the "press release" I sent to them. To write for the newspaper and media is by far the most difficult form of writing I do. I hope you know how much you are each appreciated. You may read this, or portions there of, in the newspaper or hear it on the radio or television but in case you miss it, I want to be sure you know we appreciate you.
Our journey is not over. Heidi is remembered and never forgotten.
We will never give up until the question of Heidi's whereabouts is answered...
hopeful and hope filled. Praying Heidi comes home!
Written by Lisa Buske, Heidi Allen’s Sister
In Response to Judge King’s Ruling
For the past few months, our family waited for Judge King’s ruling. He said it would be released soon. If we have learned one thing over these almost twenty-two years, the courts definition of “soon” is different than the “soon” the families anticipate, and pray for. After months of testimony, reviewing statements and proposed evidence, and additional staff to assist the Judge, the wait concluded yesterday. We appreciate Judge King’s time and dedication to Heidi’s kidnapping case, decades later.
My sister, Heidi M Allen, kidnapped from the D & W Convenience Store on Easter Sunday, April 3, 1994, remains missing 8,005 days later. The first days, weeks, months, and couple years were times of intense searching, media attention, and court hearings, acquittals and a conviction.
Years transitioned into decades and Heidi’s memory was kept alive on the anniversary of her abduction and her birthday until July 2014. One summer afternoon, my parents and I, and Heidi’s family, friends, and community were thrust back into the same intensity endured decades prior. We went from a hopeful waiting to a hope-filled waiting and “the” call. The call never came and the roller coaster of emotions and impact of Heidi’s kidnapping wore on us with a rawness we thought we were numb to, but we weren’t. In the matter of a moment, the raw and heart breaking pain returned.
July 2014 to March 2016...one thing remained the same...Heidi was, and is, still missing.
We are thankful for this time of waiting is over. We aren’t naïve and understand court hearings and motions never stop, but neither do our hopes, prayers, and dedication to keep Heidi’s memory in the forefront until she is found. We appreciate the judge taking time to be diligent and meticulous in his response, showing both his character and desire to uphold the law.
The journey in having a missing loved one never ends. The hope and prayers for their return are just as constant. My greatest sorrow in this recent announcement, while it confirms the right man is in jail, my Mom wasn’t able to hear the news and have this peace when she took her last breath. Mom wanted to know where her youngest daughter was but a broken heart and cancer took her before she could thank the sheriff’s and DA’s office personally, or to know where her Heidi is.
The Oswego County Sheriff’s Department and District Attorney’s offices kept my parents and I informed. They tried to stay ahead of the media but in today’s technological age, and their desire to read and review things in their entirety before calling us, sometimes I saw it on Twitter or heard it on the radio before we, and the rest of our family could be notified.
There have been positives in this aspect of the journey too. Heidi’s kidnapping case is thought of more often and people new to our community and surrounding areas learned about the missing eighteen year-old from New Haven, New York that may have never known such a tragic case occurred in our small town. The newer investigators and deputies gained valuable experience in handling and investigating a missing person’s case. People are talking about Heidi and her disappearance again. While this is difficult at times, one of these conversations might be the one reveals the missing puzzle piece to finding Heidi.
On the flip side, this recent journey wore my Mom out. Some may not know she passed away on Heidi’s birthday this past September, after a short battle with Stage 4 Metastasized Cancer. While we would have preferred this month to be spent with only family, the investigators and DA still needed to keep in contact due to additional statements made during this time. I am grateful for law enforcement’s compassion and concern expressed each time they called, apologizing for bothering me, yet dedicated to Heidi’s case. They too hoped to answer my parents’ question, “Where’s Heidi?”
We understand some don’t trust or have faith in the Oswego County Sheriff’s Department or the District Attorney’s Office yet for us, we’ve see the countless hours first hand spent to find Heidi and to uphold justice. We recognize and appreciate the time sacrificed away from their families in order to interview, search, investigate, and do the necessary paperwork in such an intense and detailed investigation. I personally am amazed at their strength as they fielded negative attacks to their character, their department and office. They modeled such restraint and professionalism by not responding as they focused on the case and finding Heidi.
The past months have been a challenge for so many people. Heidi’s family, friends, and community miss her. We hope and pray she is found and if there are others, that all involved are brought to justice based on facts and evidence. Our family and so many others felt, and feel the turmoil, stress, and intensity of the recent investigation and hearings. Yet none of this brought Heidi home or answered the questions so many ask. I continue to pray that every sleepless night, nightmare, and tear is worth it in the long run and at the end of this leg of the journey, my Dad’s last thought and question isn’t the same as my Mom’s…“Where’s Heidi?”
In Response to Judge King’s Ruling
For the past few months, our family waited for Judge King’s ruling. He said it would be released soon. If we have learned one thing over these almost twenty-two years, the courts definition of “soon” is different than the “soon” the families anticipate, and pray for. After months of testimony, reviewing statements and proposed evidence, and additional staff to assist the Judge, the wait concluded yesterday. We appreciate Judge King’s time and dedication to Heidi’s kidnapping case, decades later.
My sister, Heidi M Allen, kidnapped from the D & W Convenience Store on Easter Sunday, April 3, 1994, remains missing 8,005 days later. The first days, weeks, months, and couple years were times of intense searching, media attention, and court hearings, acquittals and a conviction.
Years transitioned into decades and Heidi’s memory was kept alive on the anniversary of her abduction and her birthday until July 2014. One summer afternoon, my parents and I, and Heidi’s family, friends, and community were thrust back into the same intensity endured decades prior. We went from a hopeful waiting to a hope-filled waiting and “the” call. The call never came and the roller coaster of emotions and impact of Heidi’s kidnapping wore on us with a rawness we thought we were numb to, but we weren’t. In the matter of a moment, the raw and heart breaking pain returned.
July 2014 to March 2016...one thing remained the same...Heidi was, and is, still missing.
We are thankful for this time of waiting is over. We aren’t naïve and understand court hearings and motions never stop, but neither do our hopes, prayers, and dedication to keep Heidi’s memory in the forefront until she is found. We appreciate the judge taking time to be diligent and meticulous in his response, showing both his character and desire to uphold the law.
The journey in having a missing loved one never ends. The hope and prayers for their return are just as constant. My greatest sorrow in this recent announcement, while it confirms the right man is in jail, my Mom wasn’t able to hear the news and have this peace when she took her last breath. Mom wanted to know where her youngest daughter was but a broken heart and cancer took her before she could thank the sheriff’s and DA’s office personally, or to know where her Heidi is.
The Oswego County Sheriff’s Department and District Attorney’s offices kept my parents and I informed. They tried to stay ahead of the media but in today’s technological age, and their desire to read and review things in their entirety before calling us, sometimes I saw it on Twitter or heard it on the radio before we, and the rest of our family could be notified.
There have been positives in this aspect of the journey too. Heidi’s kidnapping case is thought of more often and people new to our community and surrounding areas learned about the missing eighteen year-old from New Haven, New York that may have never known such a tragic case occurred in our small town. The newer investigators and deputies gained valuable experience in handling and investigating a missing person’s case. People are talking about Heidi and her disappearance again. While this is difficult at times, one of these conversations might be the one reveals the missing puzzle piece to finding Heidi.
On the flip side, this recent journey wore my Mom out. Some may not know she passed away on Heidi’s birthday this past September, after a short battle with Stage 4 Metastasized Cancer. While we would have preferred this month to be spent with only family, the investigators and DA still needed to keep in contact due to additional statements made during this time. I am grateful for law enforcement’s compassion and concern expressed each time they called, apologizing for bothering me, yet dedicated to Heidi’s case. They too hoped to answer my parents’ question, “Where’s Heidi?”
We understand some don’t trust or have faith in the Oswego County Sheriff’s Department or the District Attorney’s Office yet for us, we’ve see the countless hours first hand spent to find Heidi and to uphold justice. We recognize and appreciate the time sacrificed away from their families in order to interview, search, investigate, and do the necessary paperwork in such an intense and detailed investigation. I personally am amazed at their strength as they fielded negative attacks to their character, their department and office. They modeled such restraint and professionalism by not responding as they focused on the case and finding Heidi.
The past months have been a challenge for so many people. Heidi’s family, friends, and community miss her. We hope and pray she is found and if there are others, that all involved are brought to justice based on facts and evidence. Our family and so many others felt, and feel the turmoil, stress, and intensity of the recent investigation and hearings. Yet none of this brought Heidi home or answered the questions so many ask. I continue to pray that every sleepless night, nightmare, and tear is worth it in the long run and at the end of this leg of the journey, my Dad’s last thought and question isn’t the same as my Mom’s…“Where’s Heidi?”
Thank YOU for remembering and praying for Heidi and our family!
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Available on Amazon.com
Where's Heidi? One Sister's Journey * When the Waves Subside: There is Hope * Encourage Others: One Day at a Time No More Pain: I Can Fly * YOU are a Rainbow * Goal Setting for a Renewed You *Also available on Kindle* |
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