T.O.P.'s Tuesday: Preparing to Speak

Happy Tuesday everyone! 

It's a true T.O.P.'s Tuesday dedicated to my sister, Heidi Allen, missing since April 3, 1994. Since her kidnapping on Easter Sunday, 28 years, 3 months and 31 days ago, our family and her friends HOLD OUT HOPE to one day bring Heidi home. HOPE is one constant.

Another constant is MEDIA COVERAGE. Thanks to social media, podcasts, blogs, and the Internet - families don't need to rely on the media 100% like they did in 1994. Cellphones were the size of a home phone and were in a bag and if your family had one, there was 1 to share. Cellphones didn't fit in your pocket.

For the first 10 - 15 years, my parents, aunts, and uncles were in front of the cameras to update media so they could update all of you. In 2014/15 as my mom's health started to decline and when a reporter showed up on my parents' doorstep (within hours of us processing a devastating cancer diagnosis), I stepped up and became the point person and protector. It has been a roller coaster of emotions, learning, and relying on prayer to hold my tongue as the insensitivities and to maintain a steady face so a reporter doesn't put words in my mouth based on my facial expressions.

I struggle and the first few times in front of the cameras, I wrote everything down ahead of time and my parents read it over and made changes.  I still remember reading the ridicule from others because I read from a written statement. I wanted to respond and share the challenge of standing in front of multiple cameras, microphones, and strangers that don't care about you - they only care about the story. This is a challenge and due to health issues with my mom, one I accepted as an honor and learned through and still learn.

I've trusted reporters that are as genuine and upfront as they can, journalist of integrity. I've also had too many interactions with those reporting the new for the number of hits, the glory in the story, and to make a name for themselves.

The sad truth in all of this is that if families remain silent, their loved one is forgotten. The opportunity to share the human and personal side of interviewing someone is an honor. I had the opportunity once before so when I was invited to SU to share tomorrow, I said yes without hesitation because of the trusting relationship with the professor I have and the hope to touch the hearts of aspiring journalist.

I'll let you know how it goes next week...

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Life is about choice...

There was a time I said yes to every blog, podcast, & interview because it might reach the ONE person who will bring Heidi home.

I learned with proper mentorship, not all interviews are the same and not everyone's objective is for good, so if you need permission to choose who you talk to...this is it.

You deserve to have peace within yourself too as you adapt, heal, and move forward...one day, month, and year at a time!